Social Networking as a Path to Growth?
How Facebook and Twitter can help you evolve

Unless you've been living under a rock, you'd have been seeing and hearing many stories about social networking and sites such as Facebook and Twitter. Many of you may already be using these sites to connect with others or promte your business, but have you considered what a powerful part social networking can play in your path of personal and spiritual growth?

Sounds like an odd question perhaps?  This certainly was not the experience I had in mind when I first starting delving into social networking myself, when I started using Facebook back in May 2008 and Twitter in December 2008.

Yes this is exactly what I discovered: Social networking is like one big, global social human experiment.

A social network focuses on building online communities of people who share interests and/or activities, or who are interested in exploring the interests and activities of others. The most popular social networking sites presently are Facebook and Twitter – and being used by millions who want to connect with more people locally or globally.  Importantly, social networking is providing a platform for more authenticity and transparency as we get a 'bird's eye view' into the lives of others – personally and professionally – through their brief and often revealing messages.

Personally, I tend to treat life as an experiment. Not to be frivolous, but to explore and discover new ways of living and being – and discover real truths for myself first hand, through my own personal experience and increased self awareness. Of course this comes with it's risks – but always up for a challenge, I decided to bite the bullet and do just that!

My Social Networking Experiment
In recent months while spending an extended period of time overseas, I initially embraced social networking as a powerful and immediate way to remain connected with friends and family back home. My decision to live in another country for an extended period of time was designed to take me out of my comfort zone, provide the opportunity to reconnect with myself, and re-create in a fresh new environment.

Facebook Post 25 February, 2009, 12.07am
Julie: Relating to Elizabeth Gilbert, author of megabestselling memoir Eat, Pray, Love, about her process of "finding herself by leaving home.

Ultimately, the goal was to become more aligned with myself, to become more open and transparent – with myself and others – to become more authentic and to 'just be me'.

Each time I typed up a message on Facebook or a tweet on Twitter – before I hit 'submit' – I asked myself questions such as:

• What am I saying?
• Who am I saying it to?
• Why am I doing this?

As I took a moment to consider each post before submitting it – I could literally 'hear' my mind chatter, my fears and self judgements coming up – such as:

• What would people think of me if they read that?
• Do I really want people outside of my immediate close circle to know about my personal/dating life?
• I'm OK if 'X' knows this about me, but I don't want 'Y' to know this about me.
• I am feeling really vulnerable/silly/sad right now – do I want people to know this?  
• Shouldn't I only put up 'happy' posts? I don't want to bring others down if I am not feeling good.
• I feel scared/nervous/terrified about putting this one out there!
  

And so on...you get the picture.

Twitter Post 3 Feb 2.32am
Julie: Sitting in the knowing that feeling sad right now is ultimately a good thing, just all part of the process of letting go and becoming...

Lessons in Self Discovery
By being conscious about my actions, and asking bigger, deeper questions, I have learned a lot more about myself these past few months, through the experience of active social networking. I would go so far as to say it has affected my growth in terms of both speed and depth.

Here are some key insights I gained, perhaps you can relate to some of them:

• I discovered I often had fear about expressing the real 'me' with all my faults and weaknesse, and worried what others might think of me
• I noticed how often I judged or doubted myself and whether what I was saying was 'right' or 'good enough'
• I realised I was 'splitting myself' to be different things to different people and groups (not being the whole of me to everyone)
  
• I noticed when I was spontaneous and real, people responded positively – whether I was sharing something happy or sad
• I learned to embrace and enjoy sharing my sensitive, vulnerable side (appropriately)
• I became more self accepting and more confident in expressing myself authentically
  
• I enjoyed connected with more people in more places in more ways and many relationships have deepened as a result

While these observations may often show up in my everyday life and relationships too, I found I was more easily able to identify recurring patterns in my thoughts and feelings through my regular, online posts via Facebook and Twitter. Plus, I often received immediate feedback, comments and insights from others, which enabled me to process many things much faster.

Facebook Post 17 March, 2009, 1.17am
Julie: Feeling the delicate creative tension of a 'breakdown before a breakthrough' – on the verge of where there is nowhere to go and nothing to do but surrender - aarghh!

Ask yourself this question:

Are you comfortable being the real, authentic you, openly sharing your thoughts and feelings with others in a healthy, appropriate way?

Now I'm not suggesting you go and start sharing every thought or feeling you have with every person in every moment. I am inviting you to explore the possibility of becoming more conscious about who you are being, how you are feeling, what you are expressing - and why - in your social networking practice.

Twitter Post 12 March, 2009 7.33pm
"It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are." - E. E. Cummings

In that experience, observe yourself and note what you learn. Here are some handy tips to keep in mind, when you are next online and social networking.

Tips for Using Social Networking as a Tool for Growth

DO...

• Communicate as openly and honestly as you can, even if it stretches you
• Contribute generously – quotes, thoughts, insights, links and other articles you like – most likely others will enjoy them too
  
• Have a sense of humor, keep an open mind and have fun with it
  
• Be vulnerable, humble and real
• Interract with others by responding and contributing as you feel inspired to
  
• Ask deeper questions of yourself and observe your reactions (thoughts/feelings)
• Invest time and energy in developing or deepening online relationships with others
• Give abundantly with your time, energy, thoughts, comments and shares – you get back what you give out
  

DON'T...

• Use the sites as a dumping ground for emotional toxic waste (take that to a professional counsellor or therapist)
• Take things personally
• Be narcissistic or use it to feed your ego
• Try to sell or market yourself or your services unless you have a strong, established relationship with your followers
• Set any expectations or go in with any 'agendas'
• Assume everyone is interested in what you have to say
• Get addicted to it or feel the need to post everything you are doing all the time
  

Twiiter Post 7 March, 4.02pm
Have I tweeted lately how much I love my life? I LOVE MY LIFE!!! :) 

Summary of The Journey
Overall, I learned a lot more about myself much faster, and learned to communicate more openly and authentically – whether that it's by expressing my vulnerability, insights/learnings, joy or humour. The feedback I get from others has been surprisingly positive and an added bonus. It seems that by sharing my 'realness' without making it all positive all the time (or all about business) it has provided some inspiration and others more of an insight into me and made me more transparent. Most importantly, for me it really has been a wonderful tool for personal transformation and connection with other like-minds.

Throughout this journey, I am reminded of Marianne Williamson's famous passage 'Our Deepest Fear' where she says "And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.'

Shining your light doesn't mean always being bright, shiny and happy. It means allowing all the real goodness inside of you – your vulnerabilities, fears and sadness too – to radiate out from within, no longer hiding behind masks or layers of self protection. It means sharing the full beauty amd joy of who you really are, not who you or others think you ought to be.

This is all a valuable part of personal and spiritual growth – the journey of self discovery. The old saying really is true – when the student is ready, the teacher will appear – and the teacher can come in many shapes or forms we may never have considered – like a social networking site! Happy experimenting!